After Bob's death, Fern chose to stay, being houseless - "If I left, it'd be like he never existed," she said, "I couldn't pack up & move on". Some who suffer from loss feel guilty about survival & regard recovery as a betrayal. The pains they cling to is an expression of loyalty. They need time with emotional support, not blame for being stubborn.
There is no way to avoid the mess. The mess you made of your life, of your body, of your sanity, by giving everything you have to pleasing people you will never know. Do you like this life? This life that you dreamed about?
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